Home Love Relationships The Five Ways for Couples to Grow a Deeper Connection

The Five Ways for Couples to Grow a Deeper Connection

and Reviewed By Mira Djakov, MMFT

Relationships are dynamic in their nature, and it’s no wonder that people find themselves on a rocky road from time to time. That is why everyone needs some advice on how to proceed and grow a deeper connection.

We have compiled this overview of five ways to continue strengthening the bond with each other and make a better future for your relationship.

1. Keep Dating Your Significant Other

The fact that the dust has settled, so to speak, doesn’t mean you should stop treating your partner as the most special person in the world.

Wooing someone shows how much you care about winning the affection of that person, which subsequently presents you as a caring individual that you are. At least once a week, try to go on a date with your significant other. It doesn’t have to be a pub crawl or a contest at seeing which one can pass out drunk first so that the other person has to ferry them home.

While there are times you’ll feel like doing exactly that (which is fine, from time to time), go for something with more substance to it, and most importantly – pick activities that will force you outside of your cozy love nest. Go see a movie or a play, have a romantic dinner at a restaurant, get some coffee, or go on a concert – do anything you would otherwise do to try and win their heart over.

You’ll get to spend some time outside of your usual routine, and also get a chance to learn something new about your partner as all your focus will be on each other. If possible, as you walk to your destination, talk about your day or share your dreams and hopes.

2. Small Gestures Matter

While it’s tempting to wait for special occasions in your lives such as birthdays, anniversaries, or any kind of celebration really, and then go all out with presents and great acts of love and gratitude, it would seem that small gestures have a longer-lasting impact on relationships.

Yes, amazing gifts will be remembered and much appreciated, so don’t think that the point we’re making is about being ungrateful. However, isn’t it better to shower your loved one with constant signs of affection and care? Giving just a couple of times per year will make you appear careless and uninterested, as it really isn’t that difficult (or expensive) to show how much you value your partner with small gestures.

By doing things that benefit your partner in the smallest ways imaginable, you’ll show that you’re thinking about them constantly and without pause, signs that your significant other will pick up on and return them in kind.

When this back and forth between the two of you commences, it will be as clear as the day that there’s will to work for each other, an understanding that will let you grow a much deeper connection (Stillman 2017).

3. Be the Caregiver

You’re most likely already invested in providing as much support as you can to your significant other, so this point might come off as a given.

But, have you ever stopped to wonder whether you’re giving the right kind of support? Have you been listening intently to what’s been causing your partner all that grief? In order to be the best possible caregiver you can be, it’s important to know what your partner has been going through. Are they asking for advice, comfort, or just someone to vent to?

By giving them your full attention, you’ll know exactly how to tailor your response and avoid coming off as heartless. The default way man and women respond to someone in need of support is not the same, with the former focusing more on acting and finding solutions to problems, and the latter being much better at providing emotional reinforcement. So, be open to the message your partner is sending – if they’re just looking for emotional support, don’t jump the gun and start proposing action plans. Just be there and listen.

This way, you’ll show your significant other that you’re there for them, and they’ll come to realize (if they already haven’t) that they have someone to rely on. Be their pillar and they’ll be yours – that’s what having a deeper bond is all about.

4. Make Light

Is there anything better for establishing a deeper connection with your partner than laughing together?

Your ability to express your playfulness has a direct correlation to having a healthy relationship. Couples that have the ability to laugh with (and at) each other can develop much brighter and deeper connections.

Make light of as many situations as possible. Find time to be childish together and behave inappropriately for your years (if that’s even a thing). Play games, do silly things, and make each other smile – a smile can really show the bliss you’re feeling when you’re with your significant other (Kraut & Johnston 1979).

Of course, you should know when to stop and when it’s time to be serious and work on real-life issues, but even then, just giving your partner an honest smile can calm their nerves and make you more accessible to them.

5. Change, but How?

Most people are aware that the change must happen, even when they’re in a relationship, but don’t really understand what that means.

While the idea that, by fixing individual flaws and shortcomings, you get to fix the relationship and its problems has some merits, it’s much better to change focus to what value you can add to each other, and to the relationship. In other words, instead of constantly striving to correct something you don’t like in your relationship, work on creating new habits and attaining skills that will make both of your lives better and strengthen you as a couple. What this entails is developing yourself, rather than focusing on changing your partner.

Closing Thoughts

These changes will require you to be brave and to expect more from yourself. If both partners have such a goal in mind, their relationship will deepen and become more meaningful. And wouldn’t that be an amazing thing?

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